Tis that time of year again college friends.

That time of year when all standards drop down the drain. No more make up and nice clothes. It's all glasses, sweats and baggy sweaters. Aka Exam time!

That beautiful time of year where students have the right to regress back into their natural skins and dress however they please. That awkward time of year where people forget how to shower or eat. All of the above and more

I love sweatpant season!!

Now time to study for exams....

My boyfriend tells me I should get writing again as a way of expressing myself, so here goes.

It got me thinking, why did I ever stop blogging so consistantly? Why did I disapear from xanga space?

One reason was before hand I was a lonely person. Back in the day where I used to blog almost every day my thoughts and feelings about life and what's around me I needed the outlet. I needed my voice to be heard by people that arent judging me and the positive feedback I got kept me going. For people that want to judge me, they can go just not read my stuff. Back then I had no one to talk to, no one to confide in. I was quite lonely, I actually used to cry about it.

The second reason I stopped was because there was too much negativity coming from people. Not from the xangaworld, but from my own world. Word spread that I wrote a blog about life, my thoughs, feelings and expressions. Word became amunition for hate and judgement. Words became a way to prosecute me. Overall my own words used against me hurt, and still left bullet wounds.

After that I had always been scared to say what I wanted to say. I was scared to tell people I had problems because I felt like problems was a way to start gossip about me.

But you know what?

That chapter of my life is closed. Go ahead start all the gossip you want about me, you dont matter to me. I progessivly found people in my proximaty to confide in. I'm sure they are sick of hearing all my problems all the time though, since they are so first world.

I'm happy with where I am. I dont drive and cry anymore (crive) from loneliness and feeling empty like I used to first year university. I dont fear judgement from people that dont matter and dont give a shit about me. I am a stronger person. I am stronger than that.

PS. he still doesnt know my username or the site I use, and i'm keeping that my secret

For one of my classes I have to go on a personal dietary change and document my progress and/or struggles. There are a vast array of options that were available. For example, you could go vegetarian or go vegan a couple days of the week. You could increase your vegetable consumption, or increase milk drinking. I decided to cut out deep fried food, thinking it would be easy.

It's not.
I never knew how much of the stuff I eat is actually deep fried. No more tempura, french friends, chicken burgers, chicken nuggets, a lot of chinese food THE LIST GOES ON.

AND i find that i crave it even more. I have been having soooo many food related dreams since then soon

UGH, ONLY 4 MORE WEEKS TO GO, then i'm off to eat the grossest poutine I can find